Not the Headlines -- Being Understood

SPEAKER_02 0:00

The Listening Tube presents not the headlines.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

I'm Bob Woodley from The Listening Tube. When I was a kid, and after my parents divorced, a lot of the time I spent with my dad was sitting next to him in a bar. Not always the same bar. He was a union guy, an ironworker, as was his dad and his brother, my uncle Jim. My dad was also quite the ladies' man, which is why his marriage to my mom didn't last very long. My dad and I were sitting in a place called the Edgewood Inn one weekend day, which ironically is where my mom met her second and last husband. My dad asked if I was hungry. I said yes. This was back in the early nineteen seventies, and fast food in bars was a relatively new lifestyle improvement. I was maybe nine or ten at the time. Select establishments had small toaster ovens in which they could place a pre-made sandwich and heat it up a little bit and serve up a delicious variety of handheld satisfaction. That way you could continue drinking without leaving the bar. Or your dad could. I was at least thirteen before the bartender started to occasionally slip some rum into my soda. That certainly took me by surprise the first couple times, but I did my best to keep a straight face. Anyway, my dad says if you want one of those sandwiches, go ahead and order one. Tell her to make it in the little oven. I said okay. Turns out I didn't hear my dad correctly. So when the bartender comes over, and she's a very attractive woman, which at my tender age I could easily decipher, I asked her for a ham and cheese sandwich and told her to make it with a little oven. To reiterate, my dad said in the little oven. But that's not what I heard. Maybe because my dad was kind of a whore, I just figured I was in some kind of training program. By the looks on the faces of both the beautiful bartender and my dad, I soon realized that I may have misinterpreted the instructions I was given.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Send email to thelistening tube at outlook.com.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

But only moments later they both realized who my dad was, and then there was no surprise left to go around. From what I recall, the sandwich could have used a little of an It might have been about that time that I realized how important it is to not only listen intently, but also make yourself perfectly clear. It reminds me of a sign I once saw in a local business that says, I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you hear. There was also an occasion when I worked at KCAQ in Oxnard, California with a guy named Greg. He was a jock and our promotions director. He left to work with Steve Shannon at his new radio station in Los Angeles, Pirate Radio. Anyway, he had a shtick where he would listen to everything you had to say and then ask, What are you trying to say? Luckily, I was alerted to it before he tried it on me. Then one day it happened. I don't remember what I said, but he waited, along with a few others, until I was finished and then sprung it on me. What are you trying to say? Prepared, I said. I just said what I was trying to say. Pay attention next time. The look on his face may have indicated that I had kicked him in the nuts. But I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Hey, if he says something smart, you can support the show from the homepage.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Being able to express exactly what you mean is a very valuable skill. Vagueness leads to misinterpretation, misunderstanding, and sometimes argument, and worse. That's why laws are written with such minutia. But we don't have to be lawyers to recognize a vague statement or claim. Much of what we see today in the media and online when it comes to politics is vague and often misleading. Statements are made and assertions are levied and proclaimed in bold letters, telling you something. It may be correct, it may lack context, it may be only part of the story, it may be completely false. You can't control what others say, what others write, or how others interpret events. That's why it's important to listen to exactly what people say, especially those in politics and media, and follow up with your own questions. Because if you only react to what someone else says or how you interpret what they said, you may find yourself asking for a sandwich that's made with a little loving. On the contrary, some people just want to talk without the burden of being misunderstood. Since I lost the hearing in my right ear, I have trouble hearing people in rooms with a lot of background noise. I pay attention as intently as I can, not just trying to hear what people say, but also reading their lips, interpreting their facial expressions, and using context to determine what it is they're trying to tell me. I may hear every word or I may not. One thing I've learned about conversation is that to the person talking to you, it's sometimes more important that you listen than it is to hear.com. Thank you for putting your ear to the listening tube.