April 30, 2023

Season 5, Episode Four, April 30, 2023

Season 5, Episode Four, April 30, 2023

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Not the Headlines brings us another errant Air National Guardsman, plus the ever-decreasing standards of the U.S. Air Force.  History explores John Wayne's feet, the North Pole, the Old Man of the Mountain  and the Department of Education.  In the epilogue, we hear about the changing media landscape and Unfinished Business. 

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00:26 - Not the Headlines

10:02 - History

25:12 - Epilogue

Hello! Thank you for putting your ear to the Listening Tube! I’m your host, Bob Woodley. On this episode, we’ll hear about gettin’ your butt whipped, the Department of Education, and the seismic shift in liberal and conservative media. But first, (Not the Headlines)…

Well, if having an Air National Guard member post classified documents on-line to impress his buddies isn’t enough to make you wonder, how about a National Guard member who applied to be a hit-man on a website? Why is the Air National Guard hiring these people? The latest embarrassment to our part-time military airheads comes from Tennessee. A story on NPR says the FBI arrested the Airman from Hermitage, Tennessee on charges of use of interstate facilities in the commission of murder-for-hire. It all started when the guy was looking on the internet for a way to make some extra money. He found a website called rent a hitman dot com, which was originally created for a security company that eventually failed. The man who owned the site changed it to a parody site that, I must admit, would be quite eye-opening if it were real. The website has reviews from past customers who were very satisfied with the quality of service provided by rent a hitman dot com, and they even offer group discounts if three or more people will be assassinated, if you’re a senior who needs someone out of the way, and, I don’t know when this was added, but Air National Guardsmen also get a discount. Ah, but our Air National Guardsman from Tennessee didn’t have anyone he wanted eliminated, but he was willing to take our somebody else for the right price. He submitted a resume that noted his nickname was “Reaper” because of his military service and expert marksmanship.

Naturally, the FBI got involved. Our wayward wing-nut sharpshooter met with an undercover agent in Hendersonville, Tennessee. Just west of the Appalachia region of Tennessee. Thanks to my Air Force buddy Rick for the tip on the pronunciation. The agent handed over photographs and other information about the target to the wannabe hitman, along with a 25-hundred dollar down payment. 

So, here’s a young man serving his country in the Air National Guard, applies for a job as a hitman on the internet, and is then surprised when he’s arrested after agreeing to the terms of the contract killing, even asking if he needed to provide a photograph of the dead body. Again, who’s hiring these people? This guy, and the guy in Massachusetts who posted the secret documents, have to be two of the dumbest people in the Air National Guard. At least, I hope they are! I don’t know what the guidelines are today, but when I was a young man, the Air Force only accepted the smartest of the available recruits. It could be difficult to get into the Air Force. Judging by these two sorry examples, the Air Force has lowered its standards a bit too much. But recruiting struggles continue to plague all the Armed Forces, forcing less-stringent standards for those already in the service, and those considering the opportunity. Case in point, the United States Air Force now say you’re allowed to be six to eight percent fatter that you were allowed to be before. An April story in Air Force Times says the maximum body fat for men was 20 percent, now it’s 26 percent. For women, it was 28 percent, and now it’s 36 percent body fat. That means that men and women in the Air Force can be defined as obese, according to the American Council on Exercise. What a sad commentary on our military. But it’s also a sad commentary on our society. The story says that Americans between the ages of 18 and 25, prime ages for military service, are getting fatter. It said that in 1976, 70 percent of that age group had a normal Body Mass Index, while just 34 percent do today. The Air Force says they’ll be able to recruit 50 to 100 more airmen a month with the lower standards. Maybe the heavier recruits will be able to shed a few pounds during basic training, but it doesn’t seem like there’s much incentive to keep the weight off, especially for women, who can serve while more than one-third of their body is fat.

What other concessions will the Air Force have to make to get the force we need? How will the physical fitness requirements change? When I was in the Air Force, we had a program for Airmen who were over weight. Everyone called it the fat boy program, and you didn’t want to be put on it. You could be discharged if you weren’t successful in meeting its demands. Now, it sounds like they’re going to need a big suction cup to to pull the pilots out of the cockpits. (find SFX!) 

Patriotism is a strange bedfellow. Military recruitment depends on it, but suffers when it’s successful in keeping peace for a long period of time. A declaration of war, especially when America is attacked, like Pearl Harbor or the 2001 terror attacks share similar reactions when it came to American men and women wanting to do what was best for the values upon which our country was founded; to defend our nation. It’s only under the worst circumstances that we rise to the occasion, even though proper maintenance would have worked better. Afghanistan is to young people to day what Vietnam was to people a bit older than me. My step dad was a Vietnam veteran. I was born the year he graduated from high school. We’re now in another cold war, with both Russia and China. There’s not a lot we have to fear from Russia, as they’re busy in Ukraine. The Cold War of the 21st Century is between China and the United States. The American government just won’t admit it. 

I’m not saying that our forces are decimated, or that we’re doomed if push came to shove. But having to lower the requirements to have the privilege of serving our country is a troubling development. But here’s another way to look at it:

It doesn’t matter if the Air Force women are one-third fat because most of them aren’t going to be flying airplanes. They’ll be sitting at desks looking at a computer screen. In the Air Force, only the officers get to fly the planes. Other people have other responsibilities on the plane, but only a small percent of people in the Air Force ever fly around all the time. And Air Force people don’t fight wars in trenches, or march with backpacks, or crawl around in mud. Unless you want to. My job in the Air Force was mostly disc-jockey. The only time I flew in a military airplane was on a flight from West Berlin to Worms. It was a Lear Jet. The private plane of the Commander of the Berlin Brigade. The highest-ranking man in the American Sector. He even got to design his own uniform. Anyway, I was hitching a ride, along with my videographer, Eugene, an Army guy, to cover some war games for AFN Berlin. They made me dress like an army guy while I was there. But it was cool, they had a club, and I got to see phosphorous bombs fired from tanks, and wire-guided missiles. I probably could have done as good a job even if I weighed a little bit more. So it really depends on what job you have or what your mission is. Certainly, our pilots have a much more stringent level of physical fitness than the guy who plays records and reads the news. But we did have physical fitness requirements in the Air Force. You were required to run a mile and a half within, as I recall, 14 minutes. You couldn’t get out of Basic Training unless you could do it. Well, after basic, I was on an Army post for almost a year, then landed on Guam, where I never had to run a mile and a half for anyone because my results were what we called, “Pencil-whipped.” That meant the administrative guy just wrote down a time that was similar to the last time it was pencil-whipped. They finally caught up to me in Berlin. They had us run a mile and a half through Dahlem, on a course laid out years ago. On a Saturday morning, no less. Well, I was out partying all night Friday, and when I got out of my taxi in front of the gate to my barracks, which was across the street from the starting line, I remembered I had to run a mile and a half. So I got out of the taxi, threw my sport coat on the ground and ran it in my dress shoes. I barely stopped to pick up my jacket and went to my room and went to sleep. Found out on Monday that I beat my basic training time by a few seconds. That was probably the most resilient time of my life. 

Let’s go back liner...

1536

Anne Boleyn, Queen of England, is arrested and imprisoned on charges of adultery, incest, treason and witchcraft. Back in 1536, you might be able to beat charges of adultery, incest and treason, but there is no effective defense for witchcraft. Still, she was found guilty on all counts. The saga of Queen Anne is a complicated and convoluted one, but her execution was neat and precise. Rather than a common blade to behead the Queen, an expert swordsman was brought from France to carry out the penalty. 

1789

On the balcony of Federal Hall on Wall Street in New York City, George Washington takes the oath of office to become the first elected President of the United States. What a great legacy our founding fathers have left for us. What an amazing feat it has been for all the generations before us to follow the guideposts they gave us. We, as Americans, deserve credit for not abandoning the ideals on which our country was founded. We’ve become a beacon of freedom, a chance for redemption, an inspiration for the rest of the world. We may be at a reckoning point right now. Will we continue to pursue the virtues our ancestors did? Will we continue to set the examples that allowed American society to thrive?

1803

The United States purchases the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million, more than doubling the size of the nation. The Louisiana Purchase prompted the westward expansion, eventually leading all the way to the Pacific ocean. Louis and Clark would lead the way.

1927

Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford become the first celebrities to leave their footprints in concrete at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood. When my mom came to visit me in Southern California, she wanted to see Hollywood. So we went. One our stops was at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. She was amazed at how small John Wayne’s feet were. Mom enjoyed Hollywood so much that I had to remind her that we couldn’t stay in one place too long because I was afraid that if I got another parking ticket in Hollywood that I might get put in jail. I think that was around 1990. I’m sure the statute of limitations is up by now.

1937

Hindenburg disaster: The German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people are killed.

audio...

1943

World War II: Operation Mincemeat: The submarine HMS Seraph surfaces in the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Spain to deposit a dead man planted with false invasion plans and dressed as a British military intelligence officer. It worked.

This week in 1945, during World War II, in the Führerbunker, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for one day. Soviet soldiers raise the Victory Banner over the Reichstag building. World War II in Europe, where it all began, was coming to an end. The war in the Pacific was still ongoing. 

1948

The U.S. Supreme Court rules, in Shelley v. Kraemer, that covenants prohibiting the sale of real estate to blacks and other minorities are legally unenforceable. Since 1948. So why do some governments feel responsible for reparations? It seems to me that any reparations should be the responsibility of the people who broke the law.

1952

Lieutenant Colonels Joseph O. Fletcher and William P. Benedict of the United States land a plane at the North Pole. Not to be outdone, this week in 1978, Japan’s Naomi Uemura, traveling by dog sled, becomes the first person to reach the North Pole alone.

1988

The PEPCON disaster rocks Henderson, Nevada, as tons of space shuttle fuel detonate during a fire. If you don’t recall this disaster of epic proportions, I highly recommend you look up the video. You can literally see the shock wave moving across the desert floor until it reaches the video camera. Henderson has recovered, and in the 1990’s was one of the fastest-growing municipalities in the country. When my late wife and I lived in Las Vegas, her pool team would play against a team in Henderson.

1994

American teenager Michael P. Fay is caned in Singapore for theft and vandalism, a punishment that many in the United States deemed to be excessive for a teenager committing a non-violent crime. However, significant numbers of Americans were also in favor of it. Yea, this was quite the story back in 1994. Singapore was and still is a very strict country. You are not allowed to buy or sell chewing gum in Singapore. Neither are you allowed to chew it. Doing so can get you up to two years in jail. Using somebody elses wi-fi can get you three years in jail. Spitting is a thousand-dollar fine. Even being naked in your own home, according to nice right now dot com, can cost you a thousand bucks. That’s still today. Back in 1994, theft and vandalism might have been punishable by death, but Mike got off with some whacks to the hind-quarters. He’s not the only American who forgot he wasn’t in America, and still acted like an American. You have to follow the laws of other places when you’re in other places! Uncle Sam can’t always come to your rescue. Just ask the Americans incarcerated in Russia. But somehow Brittany Griner got out, even though she obviously broke the law. 

2000

President Bill Clinton announces that accurate GPS access would no longer be restricted to the United States military. Civilians everywhere were chomping at the bit for civilian use of this technology, as it was just a few days later that the sport of geocaching begins, with the first cache placed and the coordinates from a GPS posted on Usenet. Today, if your car doesn’t have GPS, it’s old. But your phone has it, and if it’s location is activated, you’re subject to geo-advertisements. If it’s not, the government can still find you.

2003

New Hampshire’s famous Old Man of the Mountain collapses. This was such a weird thing to me because the Old Man of the Mountain had just been immortalized on a quarter. The United States Mint had introduced a new design for the quarter-dollar coin. Each state would be represented on the reverse of a quarter over a 10-year period, in order of becoming a state. Five states a year. It did wonders to boost the interest of numismatics. I, too, collected them all, and still have them. But not long after the stone formation on the side of a mountain in New Hampshire that looked like the profile of face you might associate with someone wise, the whole thing collapsed. All that wisdom becoming a pile of boulders and stones as well as the quick dry cement and other tools used to prolong its life. Weathering and erosion had weakened the formation over the centuries. We just happened to be here when it let go.

2006

The Puerto Rican government closes the Department of Education and 42 other government agencies due to significant shortages in cash flow. Hey, now here’s an idea that deserves a second look. The United States Department of Education has been a money pit of poor policy and sorry results. I’m not even sure why we have a Department of Education

Look that up liner

The origins of the Department of Education go back to President Johnson. Not the one after Kennedy, but the first one, in 1867. I was a department formed to keep records of statistical information about America’s schools, but all the authority was still held by the States. It was initially a part of the department of the interior because of concerns it would have too much clout over local schools. What we have now is a product of the Carter administration. What was the department of Health, Education and Welfare became two departments; Health and Human Services, and Education. I’m a graduate of the High School Class of 1980. To this day, I’m thankful that I went to school when I did. Since 1980 and the establishment of the Department of Education, our education system in America has done nothing but decline. Let’s take a look at the responsibilities of the Department of Education. There are four key functions:

Number One: Establishing policies on federal financial aid for education, and distributing as well as monitoring those funds. The Department of Education is the smallest of all cabinet-level departments. President Biden asked for a 2023 budget of 88.3 billion dollars, which includes money for pandemic recovery. Republicans in the House just voted to claw back unspent pandemic money. Biden still wants to hand out more of it through the department of education. It’s just more sucking up to the teacher’s unions. 

Number Two: Collecting data on America's schools and disseminating research. Well, tick tock is now collecting all the data anyone will ever need about America’s school children. The only research being disseminated is determined by the algorithms of social media.

Number Three: Focusing national attention on key educational issues. Here’s where the science gets fuzzy. Different viewpoints result in different opinions of what constitutes a key educational issue. Sometimes the federal viewpoint is different from the State viewpoint. And States are in charge of curriculum. But the federal government, as pointed out in the first function, controls the money. And when you control the money, you control the message. So even though a state may disagree with a federal mandate, the state is forced to capitulate in order to continue to receive federal funds. Thus, who ever controls the White House controls the curriculum, depending upon your state’s reliance on federal funding. 

And Number Four: Prohibiting discrimination and ensuring equal access to education. A worthy goal to be sure. Everyone should have equal access to a good education. We have laws in place to insure there is no discrimination. Here’s a question nobody is asking, “Where do the rights of a disruptive student end?” I would say the rights of a disruptive student end where their behavior disrupts another student’s right to an education.

2011

Osama bin Laden, the suspected mastermind behind the September 11 attacks and the FBI’s most wanted man is killed by the United States special forces in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Double tap. It wasn’t too long before that John Stewart of the Daily Show, had the President of Pakistan on the show and came right out and asked him where Osama bin Laden was. Of course, he said he didn’t know. All the while he was living in Pakistan. The sad part is, it took a comedian to ask the question every journalist should have asked, but either didn’t or couldn’t. Today, it’s the journalists who are earning our laughs. Asking softball questions if they even ask a question at all. Our President won’t answer questions, and his press secretary doesn’t answer them, either. When they do, it’s usually a vague, rehearsed response or a recital of a political talking point. Other than that, it’s “I’ll have to refer you to so-and-so” or “I don’t want to get ahead of the President on that” or some other deflection. The President himself rarely takes questions, and when he does, he demonstrates his deficiencies with grandeur. Right-wing media has been ringing this bell for awhile. Left-wing media continue to let the President hide from potentially embarrassing moments. Credit to President Obama for giving the order to take out bin Laden. Today, I’m not even sure who’s running the show.

Phone and email liner...

The media landscape underwent some unexpected but not surprising changes in the last week. Two cable news personalities were let go by their respective outlets. CNN firing Don Lemon, and Fox News parting ways with Tucker Carlson. When I say unexpected, I mean they didn’t expect it. I did. That’s why I also said it’s unsurprising. Both were divisive. Don Lemon just kept digging a deeper and deeper hole for himself in an effort to establish his dominance over the subject matter. His criticism of Nikki Haley, who he said at age 51 was past her prime was the first clue that he didn’t belong on a morning show. But he was demoted to it to give him the opportunity to become a journalist again. He failed miserably. His disastrous interview with Republican Presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy, during which Lemon argued with his subject, seemed to be the last straw. News had already been leaking that Lemon was difficult to work with, treated women disrespectfully, and tried to push his weight around where he had none. First Chris Cuomo, who now has another gig on another network, and now Don Lemon. Both have lawyered up for severance pay. We’ll see how it washes out. Either way, the new skipper at CNN has been fighting an uphill battle since he took the helm. He envisioned a CNN that went back to its roots of a journalism-first news gathering organization instead of a liberal cheer leading site, which is what it became when Donald Trump became a presidential candidate. If CNN wants to become what it once was, getting rid of Don Lemon is a step in the right direction. His divisiveness, his superiority complex and his willingness to parrot liberal talking points despite evidence to the contrary all around him is a testament to his agenda-driven racism. CNN will be better off without him. I haven’t heard much of a roar by the left over the dismissal. Even his morning show co-hosts simply bade him good luck and moved on. Mr. Lemon might find out very quickly that he isn’t the liberal fashion plate he thought he was. 

As for Tucker Carlson, I don’t know much about him. I have no memory of watching his show, and from what I understand now, I wasn’t missing much. But he was the biggest star on Fox News, a void that needed to be filled after Bill O’Reiley was let go. Glen Beck was another sudden departure. Tucker Carlson had the highest rated show on the highest rated cable channel. Not just the highest rated cable news channel, but the highest rated cable channel. It was clear why Bill O’Reiley was let go, but there was initially some mystery as to why Tucker got the ax. Unlike the slight reaction from Don Lemon’s firing, Carlson’s departure was met with outrage from his conservative followers. Tuck-heads condemned Fox News and its management for the decapitation. Some religious leaders claimed the devil was responsible for Tucker’s fall. So, what was the justification for letting Carlson go? Well, an ABC news report that cited the Wall Street Journal, which is owned by the same parent company as Fox News, tells a story of how Tucker Carlson became collateral damage of a lawsuit brought by Dominion Voting Systems, which just negotiated a settlement with Fox that cost them 787 and a half million dollars. It’s not because they lost the money. No, it goes a bit deeper than that. As part of the Dominion lawsuit, Carlson was forced to turn over his text messages. What was revealed therein was language that was both revealing and repulsive. Particularly when it came to women. And one woman at Fox News who’s name was redacted from the evidence. But it wasn’t Tucker Carlson who wanted the name redacted. NO! He later said he wanted the world to know how he felt about this woman. He also said he hated Donald Trump with a passion, which paints him as a two-faced hypocrite, but he compared his statement about Donald Trump as a momentary spasm of anger, while his dislike of the Fox News mystery female executive was “deep and enduring.” First of all, if you hate a political figure with a passion, maybe fair and balanced journalism isn’t for you. Second, talkin’ shit about one of your company executives, whether it can be considered sexist or not, isn’t a good strategy for maintaining your employment there. The report goes on to say that Tucker Carlson thought of himself as bigger than the network and was increasingly operating as his own island. It’s okay to be bold in front of the camera, but you need to be humble behind it. In the end, it may be that the Dominion settlement gave Fox News the excuse to get rid of Tucker Carlson they were looking for. Despite the large audience and following, big-time national advertisers were shying away from Tucker’s time-slot because of his commentary. He wasn’t providing a return on their investment. There was a time when all you needed was a large audience, and the advertisers would come knocking. Today, brand names are careful about who’s associated with their brand. When people begin to alienate as many as they accumulate, marketing mistakes can be made. Just ask Bud Light. So, with the Dominion settlement behind them, Fox figured it was the first opportunity to cut it’s losses. Perhaps, like CNN, Fox News has decided to move more toward the middle. 

Less polarizing commentary may not make the lunatic fringe happy. Less polarizing commentary may not rile up the base. But if it helps move our national media closer to being the deliverers of news rather than the creators of news, then we’ll all be better off. 

When I was learning how to be a journalist, one of the lessons I learned is that you’re supposed to tell the story, not be the story. All too often today, our news personalities are fooled into believing they are the story. Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson are two fine examples of how performative journalism, how agenda-driven journalism, can bring out the worst in us. And when I say us, I don’t mean just Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson. I also mean others like them. I also mean those who cherish them and cheer them on. It’s the trash that Tuckers and Lemons spew that makes us believe we have to be extremists. NO QUARTER SHALL BE GIVEN! That’s what makes it impossible to compromise. Our politics used to be based on compromise. Now, we can’t even agree on the parameters of the conversation. Or the definitions of the words we use to make our arguments.

Unfinished business liner

There’s been some fall out concerning the Massachusetts Airman who they say shared secret documents online. So far, two people up the chain of command have been suspended. The commander of the Intelligence Support Squadron and the Detachment Commander have been temporarily suspended pending further investigation, according to a report from NBC News, citing the Air Force. The Air Force is quoted as saying, “Commanders are taking appropriate action as information becomes available.”

I said on this program that heads need to roll, so this is a good start. Meanwhile the airman himself remains in custody while a judge takes his time deciding what to do with him while he’s awaiting trial. The government wants him kept in custody, while the defense wants him released to his parents. We’ll hear what happens. 

Oh, and we’ve heard all about the Equal Rights Amendment on this program, and how it’s been a hundred years in the making. There was a vote in the Senate to eliminate the deadline to have the Amendment be ratified, which is right around the corner in 1982. The measure did not pass, thus putting another errant period in the never-ending sentence describing women’s rights in America. Well, ladies, I guess you’ll just have to take it like a man. If you don’t know how to do that, you can ask Lia or Dylan. Maybe if the Democrats were willing to define a woman, there would be more of a consensus to support the amendment. But as it stands right now, supporting the Equal Rights Amendment would be like signing a blank check. Because the Equal Rights Amendment doesn’t even mention women. Section 1 says, “Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.” One could argue that federal law has already established that, and an Equal Rights Amendment is redundant. But the very definition of sex (with respect to gender) is in question. And it’s not that people in between sexes shouldn’t have the same rights as everybody else. The question now is how will an amendment like this actually change the rights we currently have. Will an ERA provide rights to people who don’t identify as either sex, rights that people who can define their sex don’t have? Plus, in today’s environment, Section 1 of the Equal Rights Amendment can be interpreted to mean that any man can compete in a woman’s sport. It literally says Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied...on account of sex. So, unless there’s a law that says a man can’t compete in a woman’s sporting event, there’s nothing to stop it. Even creating such a law would be challenged in court as a violation of the amendment.

For now, the Equal Rights Amendment to the United States Constitution will remain in limbo, like a wallflower at the high school dance. Eager to participate, but denied entry to the dance floor. For 100 years.

The Listening Tube is written and produced by yours truly. Copyright 2023. Thank you for putting your ear to the Listening Tube. Subscribe today! I’m your host, Bob Woodley for thou ad infinitum.